The ability to increase our enjoyment of positive moments in life is a skill, and it takes some intention and practice to get better at it. The video below introduces some of the psychological science around the skill of Savoring, and suggestions for getting better at it.
Key points from the video:
What’s a Basic Definition of Savoring?
Think about savoring as anything that helps prolong, intensify, or increase our contact with the positive aspects of a given moment or experience. It’s the skill of fully immersing ourselves into the sensory and emotional aspects of the positive experiences we encounter.
One way to mentally frame savoring is as the counterpart to coping. When we’re faced with distress and difficulty we often apply efforts to help us resiliently cope with this distress. These efforts may include skills to successfully and flexibly manage those difficulties, so as to reduce suffering.
But what about when we’re faced with positive, enjoyable, or pleasurable moments in life? What is the correlating effort to deal or ‘cope’ with those in such a way that maximizes the positive aspects of them? This is what the skill of savoring offers. And contrary to what we might think, our brains aren’t going to just automatically respond to positive events in a way that maximizes their impact.
Why Savoring Doesn’t Come Naturally
Historically the assumption has been that people will just naturally experience pleasure in response to the positive things in their lives, but we’ve learned that really isn’t the case. In fact, there’s quite a bit of variability in how people respond to the positive things that they experience. Additionally, the built-in negativity bias of our brains means that they aren’t naturally equipped to devote equal resources to positive experiences.
Related article: Positive Psychology & Increasing Psychological Health
We also know from research that we tend to experience, on average, about three times as many positive things as we do negative things. However, our brains aren’t wired to notice those things with the same intensity or emphasis with which they attend to negative experiences. What gets our attention far more immediately, and with far more urgency, are stressors, pain, threats, and worries.
Suggestions for Developing the Skill of Savoring
Slow down. Savoring takes a little bit of extra time and requires a little more focus. It’s impossible to savor things if you’re moving too quickly to the next thing. Try to create a little space around the experience, whether that takes a few extra seconds or a few extra minutes.
Notice the details. Both external and internal ones. Really focus your attention on the pieces, images, sensations, and feelings that come with a positive experience. Absorb these details almost like you’re studying a beautiful piece of art.
Drill down. It can help to look underneath the experience that is presenting itself in a given moment, to the people, efforts, things, etc. that aligned to bring that positive experience to you in that moment. Take a minute to think about and recognize these.
Recognize it won’t last. A very simple but highly effective way to increase the skill of savoring is to remind yourself that the positive experience or moment you’re enjoying will eventually end. It may sound counter-intuitive or pessimistic, but it can be a really powerful reminder and sharpen your focus. This recognition can help you to anchor yourself in the experience and to fully be in it while it’s still there.
Stay present. This one’s hard for our constantly-moving minds. Try to resist your brain’s urges to pull you off into other thoughts, into someplace else or something else. When you notice your brain running off after the next stressor or thing on the list, mindfully bring it back to that present moment and direct your focus back to the positive elements that are happening here and now.
Don’t try too hard. Lastly, don’t overdo your efforts to savor. Don’t try to manufacture overwhelming and life-changing emotions. If you’re trying too hard to savor, if you’re thinking too much about savoring as hard as you can, the paradox is that all that mental effort is just going to pull you away from fully absorbed contact with the positive experience.
If you’d like to talk more about developing this skill or wish to inquire about our therapy services, feel free to contact us today.
Photo by cottonbro studio
